Feeling guilty isn’t fun, but I have been experiencing this feeling for the last few weeks. I’ve been feeling like this towards myself, because I feel like I’m not doing enough. Let me clarify that. I feel like I’m not working hard enough because I am tired all the time. Which is my own fault, haha! Yes, I do go to bed on time, but I have a lot of worked piled up. Mainly because I made the decision to take on some extra work during the summer.
It seemed like a good idea to make more money and invest it back into my business. Last summer was pretty quiet, so I thought I would be able to manage it. Boy, was I wrong! I’ve been working six to seven days a week for the last two months and I am super tired. On top of the fatigue my body has been out of order. My stomach has been all over the place, just like my eczema and allergies. I just can’t seem to catch a break.
I haven’t been eating enough and food prepping for my beloved Keto style diet has been hard. I also lost my appetite and I often forget to eat. Which is of course bad for my body since it’s already super tired. I basically feel guilty because I feel like I can’t do everything as well as I normally do. I’m often just too tired and I can’t keep my attention on everything. My house for example is a mess, it’s horrible!
When I came home last Saturday I literally dropped down on my bed and fell asleep for three hours. I woke up feeling shaky and sick, no bueno! And at that moment I knew I had to change my mindset immediately. I had been feeling guilty for no reason, if I was apparently too tired to keep myself awake on a Saturday night. I have been working hard enough and the results are good. I can be proud of myself and my business.
But I know that I’m not the only one who feels guilty about not doing enough, when I actually am. I just have so many goals that are very important to me, that I don’t want to miss a step. So I decided to take the time and just let that feeling out. I’ve been feeling bummed out since Saturday and I know it sounds weird, but it makes me feel so much better. Why hold in a feeling that doesn’t serve me? There’s no good reason, so I stopped doing it.
In two months I’ll be back on my normal schedule. I’ll be working five days per week and I’ll have my weekends back. I can’t wait! In the mean time I won’t be feeling guilty anymore. So what if my house doesn’t look spotless!? I am working on my future though! So what if I forget something here and there, it’s normal! I think that our generation, the twentysomethings of 2017, are programmed to never drop the ball.
We take on so much responsibility because if we don’t, people will immediately tell you to get your act together. It used to be enough to have a nice job. Now you also have to be a world traveler, create the perfect kids and drive a certain car. Okay, you don’t really have to. But to be honest, that is the kind of lifestyle we’re getting ourselves into. So yes, I have been feeling guilty because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough.
Well, looking at things in perspective I think I’m doing pretty good. I can pay my rent, have fun with friends, take care of my dog and run a business. My house? Well, let’s not talk about that since it’s still a mess, haha! But I hope you get my point. Stop feeling guilty because not everything in your life is how it’s supposed to be. How is it supposed to be anyway? We are the ones who decide what our lives should look like. So take back the reigns and pat yourself on the back.
Cos you, you are doing great!
Kaya-Quintana
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