My life is missing something

Hey girl, it’s past 10 pm at the moment and I suddenly felt like writing. I’ve been trying to write a new article all day, but I couldn’t find the inspiration. After watching Riverdale episodes until I could no more, I finally got up to walk the dog. During the summer I tend to leave my phone at home, so I can truly enjoy the walk with Dior. While walking the dog I started thinking about my life and where it’s at right now. Honestly, I don’t like it all. Maybe it’s just the moment or a feeling, but I can’t help but feel there’s something missing.

Since my blog is all about creating the best version of myself, I have to talk about this. I’m also turning thirty next month, can you believe it? I still feel like a twenty-five-year-old, but I guess time doesn’t care. The truth is that when I was twenty-five I always felt like thirty was ‘old and mature.’ To me thirty was the age where people got married, had kids or were at least dating while having a stable job and some nice friends. I felt like I had sooo much time before getting there, but somehow time went by faster than I realized.

That’s why this last year I started realizing I’m missing something. You see, I know thirty isn’t old at all. It just feels so adult-ish and I don’t feel anywhere near an adult. Wait, let me explain: To me an adult is supposed to be a successful person and I don’t feel successful at all! I’m not saying I’ve never been successful, I just don’t feel like I am because I’m missing certain things. For instance, I thought I’d at least be dating a handsome guy by now. The reality is that I’ve been single for over three years, boohoo.

I thought I’d be living in a nicer house and drive a nice Audi, I really like that brand by the way. I always imaged I’d be richer than I am now and that I would be having lots of fun with friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for the things I do have: My dog, the house I live in, my family, my company, my co-workers/friends, the friends I used to have and the money I earn. I just feel like I could have so much more and it’s like I’m wasting so much time! And the last few months I’ve been wrecking my brain on how to get more out of life.

my life is missing somethingPIN IT!

My life could be so much richer, and I really want it to be. That’s the reason why I started with making new friends. I’ve been working on earning more money, so I can go to new places and experience different things. I want to meet new people, my future husband and other interesting souls. I hate that everyone is on their phones these days. It’s getting harder and harder to just start a friendly conversation. Sigh, sometimes I wish people would actually be social instead of acting like it on social media.

I’m sharing this with you because you might feel the same way. I’m personally very sick of people pretending all the time. Everyone is doing okay, fine, perfect and fantastic. Liars, all liars! Just kidding, there are also people who are doing very well, and I applaud that. For the people who feel like they’re missing something too, this article is for you. I wish people were more open and honest about their wants and wishes. It would make it so much easier to connect with others, to make new friends and build relationships.

I don’t like complaining and not doing something about it, that’s why I’m writing this article. My life is missing something, and I want you to know I’m working on it. I’m not fully satisfied with how things are going, and I think my level of happiness could be improved. I guess turning thirty on the seventh of august means I need to push myself more. I’m working hard on improving my live and creating the best version of myself. I hope that if you are in the same boat as I am, this article will help you. Even if it’s just a little, let’s just keep going!

My life is under construction,


P.S. Follow me on Instagram for more life updates.

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  • Anne

    Hey Kaya,

    Ik word een dag na jouWat verjaardag ook 30 🙂

    Enne, rot dat je je zo voelt. Dat gevoel wat je omschrijft heb ik vooral als ik mezelf vergelijk met anderen, want als ik het bij mezelf na ga ben ik eigenlijk hartstikke blij met alles.

    De dingen die je noemt zijn wel concreet eigenlijk, dus misschien ook wel aan te pakken? Met een hond is het sowieso makkelijk contact maken, zowel voor vriendschappen als potentiële ware liefdes!

    Veel geluk en fijne verjaardag alvast!