I’ve never been this sad

I absolutely do not want to write this article and I’ve been putting it off for about two weeks now. But my usual coping mechanism, which exists of pretending it’s not there, won’t work this time. Because you have seen my bestie in my vlogs and on my blog a lot. I’m talking about Dior or Jort as I like to call him. Which is/was my best furry friend. My dog unfortunately passed on November 22. Thankfully he was able to fall asleep in my arms in his own home with me and my family members he loved to see every week. It does not make me feel better, I’ve never felt this sad before.

No, my life isn’t bad in general but I do really, really miss my dog. That little dude was everything to me and I don’t have him with me right now. It’s like a very, very hard slap in the face and I find it very hard to deal with. My life was based on making sure he got whatever he wanted and needed. In return I got unconditional love and the best buddy I’ve ever had. Now I feel aimless, because I don’t have Jort to take care of anymore. Yes, I still have a lot to leave for. I understand it might sound a bit dramatic, or maybe not at all. I just know I don’t like not having my dog with me at all times.

i've never been this sadPIN IT!

It’s going to bother me for a really long time, I’ve never been this sad in my life before. That says something, as I’ve experiences some very shitty things. I’m currently reassessing my life and what I’m going to do with the time I now have. My day used to revolve around feeding, walking and loving Jort. Now I just sit at home feeling restless when I’m not at work. Well, I’m not going to bore you with the details. But I do want to share this experience with you, as you probably know my dog if you’ve been following me for a while. I’m going to take the time to figure stuff out, while I keep working on getting my life in order.

It’s weird how one experience can make you feel so completely aimless and like everything is complete shit. Realistically I know my life isn’t shit, it’s actually going in the right direction. Losing my best furry friend just makes me feel like it’s not. I guess I’m going to have to let that feeling out, feel very sad for a while and then get back up again. Because that’s what I always do and I never, ever give up. So thank you for reading this article and if you’ve send me a nice message because of this, thank you. I might not respond because it’s a bit too confrontational at the moment, but I definitely appreciate it big time!

Let’s keep on rock’n,



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  • Wendy Lubberts

    Lieve Kaya,

    Het is heel normaal dat je om je kleine vriend rouwt. Dat heb ik ook 3 keer beleefd. De laatste keer was in 2015 toen ik mijn hondje vanwege botkanker moest los laten. Er ging zo’n 3 jaren overheen voordat ik weer aandurfde om een huisdiertje in huis te nemen. Ondanks dat er sinds 2018 weer een kat in huis hobbelt, ben ik die andere 3 niet vergeten en dat zal ik ook nooit doen. Dus neem je tijd om dit verlies een plekje te geven.

    Warme groet, Wendy